Financial planning - the FAT PIG way

"AHHHHHH!!!!!" ms PIG just received her monthly credit card statements.

Just the day before, she was so happy when she got her pay. There was even a hint of smugness when she gave her parents her monthly "family expenses’ contribution", her brother’s and sis’s monthly allowances.

" You still owed me $10 for the cab fare" ms PIG’s dad said jokingly. ms PIG thought he must be joking. (*see explanation)

*ms PIG’s dad and mum and little sis had planned to watch "Batman Begins" at Bedok Princess cinema (yes, the cockroach-infested-and-damaged-smelly-seats-poor-sound-system cinema) since the tickets were cheaper there. ms PIG, being generous, offered her free citibank GV tickets to them. She even offered to watch the movie with them and mr FAT. After the show, they took two cabs home, one of which ms PIG’s dad paid for the ride.Now ms PIG’s dad wanted to claim the cab fare from her…

ms PIG, feeling really happy after seeing her bank account swell again after many days of waiting, snorted as she handed some cash to her dad,

"What is $10 to me? I give you $XXX instead of the miserly $10! ha ha!"

Well, that was before she receive her credit card and handphone bills….

"Like that, how to save $$$?!? Everytime it(bank account) swell, after a few days, it will be slim again! If only my waistline could behave like my bank account!" ms PIG whined.

"How to plan for our wedding next year!?!?" ms PIG continued her incessant whining.

mr FAT, being the more budget-conscious, kept quiet and looked through the bills one by one. Without a word, he went to the toilet.

10 mins passed.

mr FAT emerged from the toilet and started babbling in a business-like tone,

"I have got an idea to manage our finances."

ms PIG stopped reading her latest copy of Her World Brides (she busted her wallet’s remaining 7 bucks on this mag) and looked up.

"As I was doing-some-big-business in the toilet, I thought of this idea. Why not we limit our spending to $100 per week?…" mr FAT proposed.

"Wah…$100 for two persons not enuf leh…" ms PIG interrupted.

"I mean $100 per person a week. This $100 will include transport and meals." mr FAT explained patiently.

"Then it’s a bit too much for one person, leh…I dun spend so much in a week wah.." ms PIG said as a-matter-of-factly.

"Are you sure? Do you know that you spend about $500 using your credit card every month? Just look at your credit card bills. $100 per week may sound like a lot, rite? But actually its just the right amount for you to spend." mr FAT convinced ms PIG.

"Ok, so if I spend less than $100 for this week, I can buy myself something with the excess $$ the following week?" ms PIG asked innocently.

"Of course!" mr FAT happily answered.

"Ok! I will take your idea! We start today since its the start of the week. So if we eat out or go out, all expenses will be on your $100 since you are the guy and guy supposed to pay for the gal and u normally spend less and my travelling expenses are higher as my workplace is located further……So where are we going for our breakfast today?" ms PIG rattled on, leaving no chance for mr FAT to respond.

"Whatever!" mr FAT threw his hands up in exasperation.

afternote: Its only the third day into this new financial plan and ms PIG’s $100 is already disappearing….

24 June 1981

I love my bro, eiyon.

He was born on this date, exactly 1 year, 9 months and 4 days later after I was born.

A little brother he will alwis be in my mind.

A smelly one too.

I remember the days we scrambled to safety as my dad wielded the mighty cane in the air.

I remember the days we pressed our faces onto the iron grilles of our door as we begged our mum to let us out of the house to join our neighbours in their games.

I remember how he had my arm dislocated while we were playing tug-of-war using our hands.

I remember how he dropped a small piece of eraser into my mouth, down to my throat while I was lying on my mum’s bed.

I remember how he shut the toilet door on me when both of us were running away from my dad’s cane.

I remember how he loves to compete with me in his results which is pointless coz he is always two years behind me.

I remember how he went into the army for the 1st time and how the whole family was in tears when he came home.

I remember how he dropped our baby sis, head first, onto the ground, leaving her with a buah-lu-ku on her head.

I remember how he alwis doodle and sketch stars and ask me if his drawings resemble them.

I remember how he alwis attempt badly to serenade us by strumming his guitar and singing with his raspy, a-bit-out-of-tune voice.

I remember how he spend many hours doing flash, which are simple and short.

I remember the many times he irritate me and my little sis, which he still do.

I remember how he ask my opinions about his clothes when I do not have an acute fashion sense myself.

I remember how he cooked his first dish and proudly presented to us, hotdogs with chili sauce.

He called me on his hp last nite and asked me where he could treat his buddies without burning a hole in his pocket. I suggested a place to him and I told him I will make myself available today too. Of coz, he got scared and I asked him to go fly kite.

Anyway, it is his birthday today and he still look too childish for his grand age of 24.

Just wan to wish him…..

Happy birthday, big head. Get a life girlfren, will ya?

Men….

mr FAT and ms PIG were in the MRT, on their way home.

ms PIG spied a gal, two seats away from her. The gal was wearing a bright yellow t-shirt and on her ears, were a pair of bright yellow button-looking (complete with 4 holes, maybe they are buttons!) earrings..

tinking that it was interesting, ms PIG turned to mr FAT and whispered into his ears,

"Psst…The gal sitting two seats away from me has buttons as earrings.."

mr FAT craned his neck out and looked to the right.

He relaxed into his seat and asked ms PIG to repeat what she had just said.

"The gal’s earrings looked like buttons…" ms PIG whispered again, getting impatient with mr FAT.

mr FAT craned his neck out again and and looked at the gal again.

"What did you say just now? Can you repeat one more time?" mr FAT was asking for trouble…

"THE…GAL…HAS…BUTTONS…AS..HER…EARRINGS.." ms PIG spoke loundly into mr FAT’s ears.

Upon hearing this, mr Fat relaxed into his seat and did not attempt to look at the gal again.

He looked at ms PIG and said flatly with a frown on his face,

"I thought you say the gal did not button (her blouse)…chey.."

Men…

Mr Dinosaur

After I posted an entry about my three khakis who have been thru thick and thin with me, I have got someone msged me…"what about me???"

Ok, he did not really msged me that…He just reminded me that I left him out.

Let’s call him, Mr Dinosaur. Anyway, that is his nickname in JC. why? He is tall like a dinosaur!  And guys like him are extinct!

Mr Dino (yh, guess what? I ve got a Mr Dino as well!) was my NPCC comrade and classmates in secondary school…we went to the same JC after ‘O’ levels.

He was an important character in my school days…everyone who know him, would know me..but not the other way, I hate to admit, "coz he is more popular than me"

he was a well known guy in JC and I was notoriously known as the gal mr Dino alwis hang out with…

We get on each other’s nerves quite often and even till now, we can still irritate each other

As far as I can recall, I was alwis angry with him…

but for him, he was only angry with me once…

and boy, that one time he was angry with me….it was for a long time and funnily, I dun remember what he was angry about. (opps, maybe he will get angry after reading this)

For Mr Dino, my dear fren

thanks for being so patient with me and not losing your cool when I scold you upside down (you seem to enjoy seeing me seething with anger, hor?)

thanks for making me run for the bus whenever I see you (appreciate your efforts to make me exercise more)

thanks for sharing your locker with me, ms beyond and ms clumzcat during our jc days (we gals should have put our sanitary pads inside! ha!)

thanks for beating me at your ‘O’ levels scores (and you continued to get better results ever since, thanks leh!#%#$)

thanks for inviting me to your very important commando ROD ceremony and D&D (I guess I was the lucky one to be chosen as your partner out of the many ladies whom you could have asked)

thanks for coming to my ROM, bein my photographer and the video you created for me (this the best thing you ve given me since the bookmark, watch, cranes and necklace. I still ve them with me!)

anyway, I know he has been feeling down recently and I hope to cheer him up by reminding him that he still have me (yes, me!) to pass him the tissue if he wans to cry (I can’t give you my shoulder to lean on coz you have to bend your tall stature really low to reach my shoulder)…

that’s wat frens are for!

What friends are for…

I was really happy when a long lost fren, W replied my message recently.

I spotted her on my good fren’s (clumzcat) frenster, added her and left her a message..It so happened that clumzcat also left her a msg..

She did not respond to our messages. Both me and clumzcat tot of the many possiblities why she did not reply…mabbe she seldom check her email? she feel awkward since we lost touch for so many years?

Hmm..let me count… its about 8 years…how time files…

I knew W since sec one.

Both of us were in the NPCC and in the student leaders’ council during my sec sch years (I had my happiest school years in ping yi sec!).

We were streamed into the same class for sec 3 and sec 4. We were the only two student leaders in our sec class. We went on to the same JC, though different classes, we joined the same eca again, softball. She was the captain while I was the vice captain of our JC’s softball team.

Sad to admit, we have been classmates, eca buddies but I have never been really close to W. We belonged to different circles of frens in our 8 years’ frenship.

Which is why I was really happy to see her reply on my frenster. At least I know that she has not forgotten about me and the rest of us

Friends who have been thru thick and thin with me…

I had 3 frens who were together with me throughout my school years, even in ecas…in fact, thinking back, They are my frens, my classmates and my eca buddies!

We shared fun, laughter, anxiety, stress together…

Three of them are still my very good chummy buddies and I m grateful for that

clumzcat - thanks for offering and sharing tissue paper to me every morning during classes, thanks for being my classmate for the whole of my sec school and JC years (6 years!), thanks for being the outfielder and a leftie-batter in our softball team, thanks for pretending that you were my secret admirer during our JC’s secret pal game, thanks for inviting us to your cell group gathering every now and then, thanks for making us envious when you lose weight by sleeping…

gigi aka ms Ah Lian - thanks for being a fantastic NPCC comrade (a damn good one, best unit cadet! dun pray pray with her!), thanks for being my classmate for sec 3 and 4, thanks for being a part of yec, thanks for letting me throw you during our sec sch’s 10th anniversary defence tactic performance, thanks for trying to save me when the sickening NPCC guys( esp patr…!) ambushed me on my b-dae (although you failed to save me), thanks for being a listening ear and a talking-non-stop mouth when I m feeling down…

ms beyond - thanks for being my classmate for sec 1 and 2, thanks for being a outfielder in the softball team and a part of yec, thanks for irritating our softball coach with me, thanks for hanging up my calls on ur hp so that you can call me using your hse phone and chat longer (hmm..is that the reason?), thanks for studying with me during our uni exams in the rc centre, thanks for doing the admin stuff for me during my uni years (remind me to register for modules, apply for lockers etc.), thanks for going out with my hubby’s best fren (admit it! I know u did that all becoz of me, ha!)…

Thses are what frens are for