Two pcs of cloth = Curtains!

mr FAT and ms PIG had some guests coming to their humble abode over the weekend….

"Aiyoh, why no curtains?! Very dangerous one, you know?! "

"People with ill intentions will like your house best! It would be worthwhile to break into ur house! Just look at your brand new furniture! Especially your 29 inch panasonic TV set, your HP pavilion PC and your beautiful wife!" mr FAT’s sis voiced her concerns.

*the above is an exaggerated version of mr FAT’s sis conversation. She dun speak like that in real life and she’s a very gentle and nice lady. And ok, I confess…the part about the "beautiful wife" is made up by me.

"Got! Got! We got curtains! We bought a shower curtain from ikea! It looks like and feels like normal, cloth curtain!!" ms PIG proudly beamed.

"but dunno if its enough for all the windows..he (mr FAT) says its enough, told he to buy more, he says no need…" grumbled ms PIG.

"Aiyah, no need lah! its enough lah! trust me! " assured mr FAT and he went on to cut up the curtain into 3 pieces….

I wish I can show u all how mr FAT cut the curtain up in the most brutal way…but I m too lazy to take and upload pictures…let me illustrate using words…

Pc no.1 = windows in the living room

Pc no.2 = windows in the study room

Pc no. 3 = windows in the bedroom.

He further went on to cut up the 3 pcs and divided them into 5 pcs….

Pc 1 becomes Pc 1a and 1b

Pc 2 becomes Pc 2a and 2b

Pc 3 remains uncut.

now both the living room and the study has two pieces of curtain each…

"Cutting the curtain into two pcs will make it look like curtains!" mr FAT happily explains….

In the end….

People with ill intentions, can still peek into the house which is scantily covered with pieces of curtain…

in fact, it encourages people to peek into the house…coz when they do peek, its difficult for people inside the house (especially for ’severely shortsighted’ ms PIG and ‘refused to admit he’s severely shortsighted’ mr FAT) to realise someone is peeking…

Worse still, the last piece of curtain (pc 3), supposed to cover the bedroom windows so as to reduce the sun glare in the morning, is too small to even cover 1/3 of the window in the bedroom…

ms PIG just hope that mr FAT dun cut that misrable pc of curtain into half to make it look like curtains!

chronicles of mr FAT and ms PIG to be continued…..

CEO = BABY?

recently just attended a course : a Master of your event, Leader of your team at SIM. it was a so-so course…a bit boring except for the part where they invited a local events management guy as the guest speaker..

he did gave us an interesting insight of events management in singapore..

"its there, but its not quite there yet"

(market, standard of players in the market)

I believe so too..he was telling us that the events management is a huge and money churning industry in S’pore…well, just that the industry is not that defined and recognised like other industries…

just think of the many stages built, banners, posters printed everyday….so, want to change your job? $$$ ka-chink!

anyway, this post is not abt events management…its about an article in fortune magazine which i read while concentrating, taking notes during the course..(I m multitasking here, dun play play)

the article started off with him realising that the CEO/ boss is like a baby…

I can’t rem the full article (I chucked the mag in somewhere I can’t rem)

the very summarised and my own version goes like this;

Why your ceo is like a baby

1) He/ she makes a lot of noises and speaks in a language no one apprehend

2) He/ she constantly seek attention by screamin, crying out loud..

3) People need to carry (curry favor) them…

4) People fusses around him/ her…

5) He/ she lives in his / her own world, doing their things in their own way.

6) After he/ she makes a mess, you clean up for him/her..

7) he/ she has not much hair….(ok, this is not from the article)

this is what I can rem…ok, I did not exactly rem accurately..(pray that none of my frens read fortune)

If only our ceos are as cute as the babies…nay!

some explanation….

just to explain things a bit, Mr FAT and Ms PIG in question, just bought a three room flat, and were renovating the teeny weeny flat (its been three long months, and they are still at it!)

its retro-themed, with orange and red furniture….stay tuned to adventures of Mr and Ms FAT PIG…

indulgence of the month

Scene of crime : IKEA

it all started one fine weekend, while out shopping at ikea….

"think our study room is stark empty, we should get a bookshelf!" Mr funnie, amicable (FAT) tapor bellowed…

"so, how many books are u going to put on the bookshelf?!?!" the tiny woman whimpered…(ok, it does not sound like whimpered…) Ms pretty, intelligent girl (PIG) shrieked…

"I just think it looked empty…" Mr FAT continued to mumble to himself in the busy confines of ikea while Ms PIG ignored him….

"Oh, let’s get a computer table!"  Mr FAT’s small, squinting but sharp eyes has caught sight of a huge birch effect (light wood colour) table on silver-grey legs…

"we can then put in the study room….every home should ve a computer…we can play computer games now…my bro got a free printer in a lucky draw, we can use it now!" Mr FAT rambled on.

Sensing the excitement in Mr FAT, Ms PIG decided to go with the flow…and off they went on to choose the table, the table legs, the computer chair etc….(since they were on a shopping spree)

Ms PIG was tempted to stock up stationery from ikea…

fortunately for the world, Ms PIG exercised much restraint against further wrongdoing (such as bursting the credit card limit, then having to deal with the torturous payment of bills) She did not load the stationery (u go girl!) into the shopping cart.

(well, she figured she will get a better deal in popular store)

Scene of Crime : Outside IKEA

" since we just bought a nice nice big big office table this week, we need to get a computer on the table by the next week!" Mr FAT reasoned. (yah, we need a computer to cover the table so that there will not be dust collection on it, so smart of FAT PIG)

Ms PIG was now feeling very weak and busy as she tot to herself, " buying a pc is not easy task, just imagine the info search u need to do before the purchase…and furthermore there is no computer fair now! save me!"

Scene of crime : At funan IT mall, Harvey Norman

Mr and Ms FAT PIG went to Harvey Norman (a german monk, yah rite!) when they arrived at funan ( a province in china, yah sure!). 

it was the first store they went in and voila!

they were taken in by the silver tongued salesman and bought a hp pavilion white silver PC with LCD flat screen at $1999…

recalled : "buying a pc is not an easy task" - Ms Pig

" it’s a steal, you know! u get 512kbps, 80gigabyte, intel pentium processei 4.1, 6 in 1 card reader…..APPLE LOOKALIKE PC, 3 years extended warranty, FREE CABLE MODEM, FREE TWO MONTHS’ BROADBAND ACCESS, all for only $1999!!!!" exclaimed the salesman.

Frankly, "Mr and Ms shallow FAT PIG were only interested in the items listed in caps….

There u have it, a heinous sin was commited…the PC was sold.

Verdict: The closing chapter (jie an cheng chi)

The accused being Mr FAT and Ms PIG, due to their moment of folly and stupidty and impulse, have unwittedly committed the unspoken sin, INDULGENCE. Hereby, the punishment await them is the shock and dismay they will suffer and endure when they receive the next month’s credit card bill…

indulgence is a vicious cycle.. table => computer => pc games => high tech gaming toys =>more space to put the gadgets => BIGGER table! DARN!

I did not tell you abt the manicure and the facial packages I have signed up…sinful indulgence really…

my first dumb entry

it seems a bit dumb to do this, having a frenster blog…

I do ve my private blog (only known to few) but I wanted to have this blog to share some tibits of my life with frens who know me. Or frens who made the effort to add me in their frenster…

Pardon for the bad singlish, spelling errors and the incoherrent way of writing..(there I go again), just dun visit my blog ever again if you do find that its distasteful, or worse, BORING zzz…and dun ever correct my singlish!

and yes, I will do a lot of copying and pasting from my private blog….u noe, I m a very busy person leh…where got time to maintain two blogs?

I used to keep a diary, a handwritten one, that is. I blog now coz I m a lowly trend-follower. It’s cool when you can save trees at the same time.

I will be a happy gal if you leave some comments! (good/ neutral ones accepted)